Buzzword Bingo

96. Warrior:  Joint Integrated Project Team

Salutations and thanks go out to our Cardiff-based branch of Mugspotters, who hot on the heels of Office For National Statistics gift us this adrenaline-fuelled Marrow for ‘Warrior’.
Here we have a case of the background almost upstaging the mug. We have some cool 50’s Americana proppage in the form of do-nuts & ice cream.  (Hmmmm do-nuts……)
I have to admit I couldn’t find anything on the web which accurately matched this brand. It’s true we have dabbled in hi-tech surveillance before on this blog but have to assume this ‘Warrior’ is so deep undercover, it’s buried.
So, artistic licence comes into play here with a few lines on Project Management.
‘Warriors’ boast is “Joint Integrated Project Team:  Delivering Capability“.
This is buzz-word bingo. It promises everything but tells you nothing.
Friends of Mugspotters and acquaintances tell me (not that I’ve had experience of Project Management at close quarters, perish the thought, honest) that it usually involves a company parachuting in some overpriced drones to drive more efficiency (a.k.a. eeking more labour) out of an already frazzled work force. They also tell me these ‘Project Managers’ are basically big-collared, wispy-bearded, stuffed-Blackberry types who have an amazing knack of not being around much Monday to Thursday but on Friday, as you are ‘Getting into a weekend frame of mind,’ they’re all over the office like chickenpox, wanting loads of reports, figures and stuff urgently when they’ve had all week to sort it out!
Lastly my acquaintances tell me that weeks and months pass and when they finally admit defeat by delivering a half-baked process improvement plan that anyone with half a brain knows won’t deliver, these PM’s slink off into the sunset counting their piles of cash whilst you start to count the true cost.
Sounds like a good-racket to get into. Where do I apply?

Warrior

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